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Last Facts for Vin Diesel The last Facts for Chuck Norris Red Flags Marokkaanse Sollicitatie Socrates 666: The Number Of The Beast Quotes from the first three seasons of "House M.D." Een nieuw hoofdstuk van het Casema feuilleton "Kom," dacht ik "We nemen weer Casema" Bericht van de helpdesk Helpdesk Rules Beatles Classy Insults 46 Laws of Anime Gay Marriage Top 25 Programmer Explanations Dieting Rules for Women Words of Wisdom Brand Naming Pitfalls What Happens to your body if you stop smoking right now? A word from Australia Pwnd! Things that took me 41 years to learn Think before you speak Cojones Things said in court Captain Mosey and the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" Words That Changed You Talking about Mensa Shay Vacature Prison Or Work Gender Wars Pilot Checklist Verzekeringscitaten Famous Dog Quotes Daniel writes What Men Really Mean Is...... Handige Weetjes Voor Vrouwen The Guys Rules Sun Tzu - The art of war 20 things that never happen in Star Trek Sex facts The very secret diaries of the Fellowship I like monkeys Bestaat de Kerstman echt? The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord Top 100 Facts for Chuck Norris More Facts for Chuck Norris You know You Grew Up In The 80's If... Top 30 Facts for Vin Diesel Top 30 Facts for Mr. T You Know You're Getting Old When... Just When You Think You Have It Bad, It Gets Worse... Lame Pick Up Lines Replies to pickup lines You Know You're Too Stressed If... Differences Between College And High School Things That Change After College Before Getting Married It's Wonderful To Be A Woman It's Wonderful To Be A Man The Differences Between Men And Women Great Moments in Physics Einstein's Chauffer Astute Visionaries The best from Bash.org The best from Bash.org part II The best from Bash.org part III The best from Bash.org part IV The best from Bash.org part V The best from Bash.org part VI Letter from John Cleese I love my job Why people with a PC and an attitude but no brains should be shot Why to get your act straight before you get mad Why some people should learn to read and process what they just read How stupid can a user be? Miscellaneous Stories

Excerpts from Bash.org

source: Bash.org

<Night-hen-gayle>
I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.

<Th3No0b>
Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b>
Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish>
why the clown
<Th3No0b>
See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish>
lmao

<docsigma2000>
jesus christ man
<docsigma2000>
my son is sooooooo dead
<c8info>
Why?
<docsigma2000>
hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking EUROPE
<docsigma2000>
HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
<docsigma2000>
our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts
<c8info>
Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
<docsigma2000>
...!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK
<docsigma2000>
is there some plan we can sign up for???
<docsigma2000>
cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
<c8info>
Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
<docsigma2000>
o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
<docsigma2000>
but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
<c8info>
By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)

<ckx>
women ask for it
<ckx>
they act all old and mature
<ckx>
and then you stick your cock up their ass
<ckx>
and they get all bitchy
<ckx>
"I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"

<Sui88>
67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl>
i belong with the other 13%

<UKDJ|Planet>
I swear to god
<UKDJ|Planet>
I've just heard a duck tell a joke
<Jock>
o...k
<UKDJ|Planet>
there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
<UKDJ|Planet>
one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
<UKDJ|Planet>
then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
<UKDJ|Planet>
it looked just like duck stand-up comedy

<Locl-Yocl>
I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.

<death09>
my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
<ktp753>
ouch.
<death09>
yeah.i sent them to her dad

<@David>
Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony>
...........
<@Sony>
TMI TMI TMI
<@David>
Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine>
Thanks for the info
<@David>
eh?
<@David>
damn i meant PAID
<@David>
I get PAID today
<@David>
dammit

<WiLdSeXyPrInCeSs>
i luv guyz where would they be wifout us gals???
<XeNoX>
Still in the Garden Of Eden you gullible bitch.

<_kr4m3r>
so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`>
heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`>
and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`>
whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]>
something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

<calin>
we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator
<ecoli>
ew.
<ecoli>
wait, you "caught" him?
<ecoli>
like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
<Aero>
he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)

<xxxGirlygirlxxx>
Thank you for listening to me.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx>
You know your a really good listener.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx>
Sweety please say something.
<Sandaedar>
Ok I'm back.

<Donut[AFK]>
HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]>
INSULT
<Eurakarte>
RETORT
<Donut[AFK]>
COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte>
QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]>
SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
<Eurakarte>
NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]>
RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]>
ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte>
COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]>
COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte>
NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower>
RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte>
WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower>
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

<Zybl0re>
get up
<Zybl0re>
get on up
<Zybl0re>
get up
<Zybl0re>
get on up
<phxl|paper>
and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow>
i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

<t0rbad>
so there i was in this hallway right
<BlackAdder>
i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
<BlackAdder>
WRONG BTICH
<BlackAdder>
IM SICK OF YOU
<BlackAdder>
AND YOUR LAME STORIES
<BlackAdder>
NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
<BlackAdder>
NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
<BlackAdder>
IN FACT
<BlackAdder>
IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
<BlackAdder>
I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
<BlackAdder>
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
<t0rbad>
so there i was in this hallway right
<CRCError>
right
<heartless>
Right.
<r3v>
right

<Cthon98>
hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98>
********* see!
<AzureDiamond>
hunter2
<AzureDiamond>
doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98>
*******
<Cthon98>
thats what I see
<AzureDiamond>
oh, really?
<Cthon98>
Absolutely
<AzureDiamond>
you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond>
haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98>
lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond>
thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98>
yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond>
awesome!
<AzureDiamond>
wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98>
er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond>
oh, ok.

<tatclass>
YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass>
er.
<tatclass>
hi.
<andy\code>
A common typo.
<tatclass>
the keys are like right next to each other.

<DeadMansHand>
haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand>
we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand>
took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand>
i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand>
What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen->
uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<DeadMansHand>
holy fuck.
<DeadMansHand>
i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<DeadMansHand>
im fucking going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand>
if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<Thirteen->
will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran>
wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day
<Thirteen->
haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
<PeteRepeat>
fucking ken
<PeteRepeat>
ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<quiqsilver>
pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
<PeteRepeat>
oh fuck.
<PeteRepeat>
if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen->
rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran>
i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

<Guo_Si>
Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial>
vaccuums
<Guo_Si>
Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial>
black holes
<Guo_Si>
Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial>
lava?

<anamexis>
oh man
<anamexis>
I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis>
and it exploded
<anamexis>
ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis>
but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis>
:<

* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm being an asshole -
<ab>
HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

<xterm>
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

<JonJonB>
Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB>
Let's see the results...
<JonJonB>
"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB>
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything
<JonJonB>
A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
<JonJonB>
"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB>
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "
<JonJonB>
Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
<JonJonB>
"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
<JonJonB>
The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.
<JonJonB>
He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
<JonJonB>
He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
<JonJonB>
Ok
<JonJonB>
I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB>
that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB>
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine >
O_______O
<JonJonB>
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
<JonJonJonB>
Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
<JonJonJonB>
'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

<mage>
what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn>
Um. Ten bucks?
<mage>
no I mean like, WinZip?

<Ben174>
: If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB>
: If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174>
: Where u work?
<ChrisLMB>
: I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

<T-Wolf>
man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<RdAwG20>
you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf>
ya, why man?
<RdAwG20>
lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf>
you mother fucker

<turno>
I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.
<Seeker>
Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
<turno>
I'll fucking KILL YOU! !
<Seeker>
Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right?
<turno>
Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life.
<Seeker>
Don't worry, I won't post it.
[Privmsg]
<Seeker>
Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org?
[Privmsg]
<opiate>
the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!
[Privmsg]
<Seeker>
hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.
[Privmsg]
<opiate>
yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it;)
[Privmsg]
<turno>
You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you.
[Privmsg]
<Seeker>
I'm not gonna post it:) and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .
[Privmsg]
<turno>
*phew* spose you have a point

<i8b4uUnderground>
d-_-b
<BonyNoMore>
how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore>
wait
<BonyNoMore>
never mind

<NES>
lol
<NES>
I download something from Napster
<NES>
And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES>
I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES>
"getting my song back fucker"

<Rabidplaybunny87>
Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
<GarbageStan23>
why?
<Rabidplaybunny87>
Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
<Rabidplaybunny87>
So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
<GarbageStan23>
oh shit!
<Rabidplaybunny87>
Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
<Rabidplaybunny87>
Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
<Rabidplaybunny87>
talk about bad timing...

<tag>
Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros>
Ok.
<tag>
| .
<Ouroboros>
. |
<tag>
| .
<Ouroboros>
. |
<tag>
| .
<Ouroboros>
| .
<Ouroboros>
Whoops

<AgentSmith>
It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith>
One of these...has a future.
<Randerson>
LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith>
How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m

<jeebus>
the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus>
he was a fucken impostor
<jeebus>
never once moved diagonally

<Jeedo>
hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge>
umm....nothing?
<Jeedo>
So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge>
Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo>
Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

<kow`>
"There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
<SpaceRain>
That's only 2 types of people, kow.
<SpaceRain>
STUPID

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Op 21 maart 2009 is mijn boek 'De Paarse Panda' gepubliceerd. In dit boek beschrijf ik hoe het voelt om longkanker te hebben en ongeneeslijk ziek te zijn verklaard. Het boek barst van geluk, positiviteit, liefde, creativiteit, levenslust, verwondering en optimisme maar dat laatste brokkelt heel langzaam af door teleurstellingen en het moeten verleggen van grenzen.