I will write on a huge cement block "BY ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL LIABILITY, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY ARISE FROM THE INSTALLATION OF THIS BRICK INTO YOUR BUILDING."
And then hurl it through the window of a Sony officer
Our instructor says that we WILL hand in the paper on time, and she'll accept no excuses except illness, with a note from our doctor, or a death in the immediate family, with a note from the dead member.
So this wiseass pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
She waits for the laughs to die down and says:
"Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand"
Light bulbs are not actually "light bulbs" but dark absorbers. When you turn them on, they suck the dark out of the room. You can prove this by holding your hand under a "light bulb". The dark will stack up under your hand where its path to the absorber is blocked by your hand. When they quit working and turn a dark color, it's not because they burnt out, it's because they're full.
ok so im wacking off to a video of two lesbians fucking eachother
then i hear my mom walking down the hall to this room
so i quickly close the video
then she walks in and im sitting with my pants down, left hand around the cock, and she looks at me...then looks at the screen...my desktop was open and had three naked gnomes standing by a fireplace...the look on her face as she left the room will stick with me till the day i die.
LOL email@example.com intentionally sent me a few mails with a virus in it.. luckily my Norton picked it up... now i was gonna subscribe his e-mail address with some gay porn sites... first site i tried he was already subscribed to :P
Shit... My teacher just sprung a surprise psych test on me. It was a damned describing game... Like: There's a forest, describe it. I was being a jackass and said that the forest was burned down and blackened.
Then she asked me how I went through the forest. I said that I ran through it denying all logic and reason.
She asked me to describe a vase in the forest, so I said that it had a penis on it.
Then she asked me to describe a barrier blocking the way. I said that the barrier was my mom with a pickaxe.
About 3 days later, my psych calls me and wants to 'talk'. Apparantly, my teacher called my psyche with the results of my test.
Here's how it went down: The way you described the forest was the way you viewed life. The way you went through the forest was the way you went through life. The vase is your view on relationships, and the barrier is how you think you're going to die.
Needless to say, my teacher keeps her distance from me now.
Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. The only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. There are at least 2 people in this worldthat youu would die for. You mean the world to someone. Someone that you dont even know exists loves you. When youuu make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look again. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget the rude remarks. So if you are a loving friend, send this to everyone on you list