Home Linx Docs Nino, Bobbi & Dión Birthdays Lost In Translation Admin Valentine
 
Last Facts for Vin Diesel The last Facts for Chuck Norris Red Flags Marokkaanse Sollicitatie Socrates 666: The Number Of The Beast Quotes from the first three seasons of "House M.D." Een nieuw hoofdstuk van het Casema feuilleton "Kom," dacht ik "We nemen weer Casema" Bericht van de helpdesk Helpdesk Rules Beatles Classy Insults 46 Laws of Anime Gay Marriage Top 25 Programmer Explanations Dieting Rules for Women Words of Wisdom Brand Naming Pitfalls What Happens to your body if you stop smoking right now? A word from Australia Pwnd! Things that took me 41 years to learn Think before you speak Cojones Things said in court Captain Mosey and the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" Words That Changed You Talking about Mensa Shay Vacature Prison Or Work Gender Wars Pilot Checklist Verzekeringscitaten Famous Dog Quotes Daniel writes What Men Really Mean Is...... Handige Weetjes Voor Vrouwen The Guys Rules Sun Tzu - The art of war 20 things that never happen in Star Trek Sex facts The very secret diaries of the Fellowship I like monkeys Bestaat de Kerstman echt? The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord Top 100 Facts for Chuck Norris More Facts for Chuck Norris You know You Grew Up In The 80's If... Top 30 Facts for Vin Diesel Top 30 Facts for Mr. T You Know You're Getting Old When... Just When You Think You Have It Bad, It Gets Worse... Lame Pick Up Lines Replies to pickup lines You Know You're Too Stressed If... Differences Between College And High School Things That Change After College Before Getting Married It's Wonderful To Be A Woman It's Wonderful To Be A Man The Differences Between Men And Women Great Moments in Physics Einstein's Chauffer Astute Visionaries The best from Bash.org The best from Bash.org part II The best from Bash.org part III The best from Bash.org part IV The best from Bash.org part V The best from Bash.org part VI Letter from John Cleese I love my job Why people with a PC and an attitude but no brains should be shot Why to get your act straight before you get mad Why some people should learn to read and process what they just read How stupid can a user be? Miscellaneous Stories

I love my job

[Rob is a commercial diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister, which was submitted to a "worst job experience" contest on a Ft. Wayne, Indiana radio station. It won 1st prize...]
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at your work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 days because my butt hole was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Friend Sites

Op 21 maart 2009 is mijn boek 'De Paarse Panda' gepubliceerd. In dit boek beschrijf ik hoe het voelt om longkanker te hebben en ongeneeslijk ziek te zijn verklaard. Het boek barst van geluk, positiviteit, liefde, creativiteit, levenslust, verwondering en optimisme maar dat laatste brokkelt heel langzaam af door teleurstellingen en het moeten verleggen van grenzen.