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Sex Related Averages

  • Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7200.
  • Average number of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2000.
  • Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons.
  • Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour.
Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie. This may just be the real reason that women love chocolate.
The largest penis in the animal kingdom belongs to the mighty blue whale. He is no less than 11 feet of fully functional hot whale action.
The distance sperm travels to fertilize an egg is three to four inches. The human equivalent is 26 miles (a marathon distance). Meanwhile, most of the human race can't make it from the couch to the fridge without huffing and puffing.
Men say the average erect penis is ten inches. Women say it's four inches. But what about girth, people? What about girth?
Among the Mangaians of Polynesia, 18-year-old couples make love an average of three times a night, every night, until their 30s, when the weekly average drops to a mere 14. (And then when they turn 40, their penises fall off. This is why it's all about quality, not quantity.)
29 percent of us are virgins when we marry.
Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: one to two teaspoons.
Computers have made it easier to get laid. There is an Internet dating site, boasting over 10 million registered members. Currently 18,000 new people a day join to find someone for a casual affair.
So, You Want Her To Swallow? Semen tastes sweeter if you haven't been eating meat. It's also an old wives tale that eating pineapple makes it taste really good.
The vagina is self-cleaning, kind of like the oven. Is that were the term "one in the oven" comes from?.
A healthy male's ejaculate contains over 200 million sperm. If every one of these were able to find an egg, the average guy could easily fertilize 5 billion eggs in less than two weeks (this would double the current population of the earth).
Of course, the time required would vary slightly between individuals and be affected by environmental factors like diet and the availability of porn.

The Best Cure For A Headache

A female orgasm releases endorphins (chemicals released in the brain that give us pleasure) and these are powerful painkillers. Having a headache is a reason to have sex, not to abstain from it.

So You Think You're The Father

The more recent Kinsey studies that included genetic testing found one in ten children in America is mistaken about their father's identity.
Also, a British study found that a woman is more likely to become pregnant with a lover rather than her husband, when she's been having sex with both in a given time period and even having sex with her husband more often.

How Many Of Us Are Cheaters?

The results of sex polls are generally inconsistent, but the range of inconsistency on infidelity questionnaires is especially high.
The results of the various Kinsey polls over the last 50 years asking if a person has committed at least one act of extramarital sex have revealed numbers as low as 15% and as high as 65% - and are as inconsistent in the 1950's as they are in the 1990's.
Most Polls show a higher percentage of male infidelity, but some reveal an even percentage, suggesting women are just as likely to cheat. One thing is certain- there are a lot of liars and unfaithful spouses out there.

Is It As Long As A Baby's Arm?

The average erect penis is six inches in length, although flaccid measurements vary considerably.
Couples who abstain from sex to save sperm until the woman is most fertile are wasting their time, a new study suggests. The research provides the strongest evidence yet that not only is abstaining of no benefit to couples with normal fertility, it can *damage* the chance of successful conception among couples seeking fertility treatment. A team at Soroka University Medical Centre in Israel found that if men had low sperm counts, their sperm steadily became less mobile after an average of one day’s abstinence. But the sperm of men with normal sperm count showed little change in mobility. (The Guardian 30/06/03)

From The Headlines

A 61-year-old Thailand resident was sentenced to 15 years in jail for trying to have sex with an elephant. After he was caught naked from the waist down standing on a box behind the animal, he claimed the elephant was the reincarnation of his late wife. "I recognized her by the naughty glint in her eyes," he told the court.
After complaining of pain in his scrotum, a Pennsylvania machine shop worker admitted to regularly masturbating against a canvas drive belt during his lunch hour. This time, unfortunately, he leaned too close and the machine tore his scrotum. He compounded the problem by trying to close the wound with a heavy-duty stapler.
A Kansas man checked into an emergency room with his erect penis stuck through a barbell plate. Apparently, the gentleman wondered if his member would fit through the weight's hole, but once it was in, he couldn't get it out. After 12 hours of attempting to cut the plate, a urologist freed him by draining blood from the penis.
A 28-year-old African man told police that he had sex with a cow because he was afraid he would contract AIDS from a human.

Strange U.S. State Sex Laws

In Washington State, there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances (including the wedding night).
In North Carolina, it is illegal to have sex with a drunken fish.
A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines. It is also the only city where every legal official is a woman.
In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothes in front of a man's picture.
The first sperm banks opened in 1964. They were located in Tokyo and Iowa City.
Impotence is grounds for divorce in 24 American states.
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception : prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
In Mississippi, S/M is against the law, specifically, "The depiction or description of flagellation or torture by or upon a person who is nude or in undergarments or in a bizarre or revealing costume for the purpose of sexual gratification."
An excerpt from Kentucky state legislation: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club."
The only acceptable sexual position in Washington, D.C. is the missionary position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
In the state of Utah, sex with an animal unless performed for profit is not considered sodomy and therefore is legal.
Are you in a sexual slump? Is a roll in the hay really a roll in the hay? If so, here are a few not so original ideas to put some heat between the sheets. These are some of the oldest tricks in the book- but don't let that take away from their value- their longevity just means they've stood the test of time. If you haven't done any of these, be sure to give them a try as soon as you can find a willing partner.
Most of us are tired of being the same people all the time. Why not try being someone else for awhile? Of course the best part of being someone else is that you get to fuck like someone else. Choose new names and stick to calling each other by them for an entire night. Although it may seem weird at first it's amazing how many people really open up and try new things as they assume a new identity. To quote one of my girlfriends (although she will remain nameless), "It's like borrowing someone else's reputation for a night and seeing how much damage you can do to it." I think that sums it up quite nicely.

Added 17-06-2006

Bizarre Sex Laws

  1. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. Is anyone else getting weird flashbacks to Clash of the Titans or is it just me?
  2. Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law: "After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh."
  3. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
  4. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
  5. Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
  6. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
  7. There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
  8. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. (The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.)
  9. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
  10. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

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Op 21 maart 2009 is mijn boek 'De Paarse Panda' gepubliceerd. In dit boek beschrijf ik hoe het voelt om longkanker te hebben en ongeneeslijk ziek te zijn verklaard. Het boek barst van geluk, positiviteit, liefde, creativiteit, levenslust, verwondering en optimisme maar dat laatste brokkelt heel langzaam af door teleurstellingen en het moeten verleggen van grenzen.