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Why Men Are Happier Than Women

source: Dave's Daily

  • We keep our last name.
  • The garage is all ours.
  • Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  • Chocolate is just another snack.
  • We can be president.
  • We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
  • Car mechanics tell us the truth.
  • The world is our urinal.
  • We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
  • Same work, more pay.
  • Wrinkles add character.
  • Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
  • People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
  • The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
  • New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
  • One mood, ALL the time.
  • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  • We know stuff about tanks and airplanes.
  • A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  • We can open all our own jars.
  • We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  • If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
  • Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
  • Everything on our face stays its original color.
  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  • We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  • We almost never have strap problems in public.
  • We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
  • The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
  • We don't have to shave below our neck.
  • Our belly usually hides our big hips.
  • One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
  • We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.
  • We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
  • We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

  • Bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
  • Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
  • When clicking thru the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying.
  • You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary items" with you everywhere you go.
  • You can go to the bathroom alone.
  • You can leave a hotel room bed unmade.
  • You can kill your own food.
  • You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
  • None of your coworkers have the power to make you cry.
  • You don't have to curl up next to some big, hairy guy every night.
  • If you're 34 and single, no one notices.
  • You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
  • Flowers fix everything (or duct tape).
  • You never have to worry about each other's feelings.
  • You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
  • You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
  • You don't give a flip if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.
  • You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy thinking, "He must be mad at me."
  • You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself to look like him.
  • You don't care if someone is talking behind your back.
  • If you retain water, it is in a canteen.
  • The remote is yours and yours alone.
  • You need not pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to the bathroom.
  • If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't tell your friends you've changed.
  • If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
  • If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

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Op 21 maart 2009 is mijn boek 'De Paarse Panda' gepubliceerd. In dit boek beschrijf ik hoe het voelt om longkanker te hebben en ongeneeslijk ziek te zijn verklaard. Het boek barst van geluk, positiviteit, liefde, creativiteit, levenslust, verwondering en optimisme maar dat laatste brokkelt heel langzaam af door teleurstellingen en het moeten verleggen van grenzen.