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Just When You Think You Have It Bad, It Gets Worse...

source: Dave's Daily

  • Bad: You can't find your vibrator.
    Worse:
    Your daughter "borrowed" it.
  • Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.
    Worse:
    You're in it.
  • Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser.
    Worse:
    He looks better than you.
  • Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism.
    Worse:
    As a sacrifice.
  • Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.
    Worse:
    She's a lawyer.
  • Bad: Your wife's leaving you.
    Worse:
    For another woman.
  • Bad: Your wife's leaving you.
    Worse:
    To enter a convent.
  • Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting.
    Worse:
    She implicates you.
  • Good: Hot outdoor sex.
    Bad: You're arrested.
    Worse:
    By your husband.
  • Good: The postman's early.
    Bad:
    He's wearing camouflage pants and has an AK-47.
  • Good: The secretary said "yes."
    Bad:
    Your wife says "no."
  • Good: The teacher likes your son.
    Bad:
    Sexually.
    Worse:
    He's gay.
  • Good: You came home for a quickie.
    Bad:
    So did the postman.
  • Bad: Your children are sexually active.
    Worse:
    With each other.
  • Good: You came home for a quickie.
    Bad:
    Your wife walks in.
  • Good: You get tickets to the theatre.
    Bad:
    It's performance art.
  • Good: Your boyfriend's exercising.
    Bad:
    So he'll fit in your clothes.
  • Good: Your car conveniently "runs out of gas."
    Bad:
    For real.
  • Good: Your child's "waiting for Mr. Right".
    Bad:
    Your son, that is.
  • Good: Your daughter's on the Pill.
    Bad:
    She's thirteen.
  • Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.
    Bad:
    He weighs 350 pounds.
  • Good: Your son's doing extra credit work.
    Bad:
    Making a sex ed video.
  • Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune.
    Bad:
    It's counterfeit.
  • Good: Your wife bought a porn video.
    Bad:
    Your daughter's the star.
  • Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex.
    Bad:
    You live downtown.
  • Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
    Bad:
    She's coming home.
  • Good: Your wife's kinky.
    Bad:
    With the neighbors.
    Worse:
    All of them.

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Op 21 maart 2009 is mijn boek 'De Paarse Panda' gepubliceerd. In dit boek beschrijf ik hoe het voelt om longkanker te hebben en ongeneeslijk ziek te zijn verklaard. Het boek barst van geluk, positiviteit, liefde, creativiteit, levenslust, verwondering en optimisme maar dat laatste brokkelt heel langzaam af door teleurstellingen en het moeten verleggen van grenzen.