My Sweet Face

Excerpts from Bash.org Part IV

Source: Bash.org

#630859 +(298)- [X]

<Shard>

I think my GF is pregnant...

You should pimp her out to cover the abortion, she cant get pregnant twice ;).

<Shard>

: ....

#631598 +(1046)- [X]

OMG

SQUASH THE SPIDER AND WIN AN XBOX 360!

shame none of the 360 games are as good as the spider squashy banner

#662643 +(204)- [X]

<Ohrly>

so some idiot crashes into a power pole and I get queued because of it

<Ohrly>

where is the justice

<shane\sleepa>

lol...

If he's dead, its there.

#348078 +(-18)- [X]

<toqer>

hey germ, I think you would like my wifes friend michelle

<Germ>

does she like sex

<toqer>

next time you're out here, we need too hook you two up

<Germ>

No thanks i dont like being "hooked up"

<toqer>

she like sex, weed, and eating

<Germ>

wait how much eating?

#289218 +(3893)- [X]

Your ignorance isn't helping.

<@KTottE>

How am I ignorant?

<@KTottE> Do it again, do it right - Ooh great help *clap* *clap*

<@KTottE>

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=ignorant

<@KTottE>

Maybe the word you were searching for was http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=arrogant ?

yeah thats the one

Your arrogance isn't helping,

<@KTottE>

Neither is your ignorance

#137342 +(467)- [X]

it would be cool to get attacked my a monster or something, I mean think of the stories

or if you died you'd be a hero

<Hidden_7>

yah, I prepare for monster attacks daily

<Hidden_7>

cause imagine if you WERE a hero

I have garlic incase of vampires, and a cross incase of a vampire, and on the rare chance of a vampire I have holy water

...actually im only prepared for vampires

#162166 +(205)- [X]

didja know that a bee's penis breaks off in the queen and she saves it for later?

saves it for later for what?

saves it for later when she needs to fertilize eggs

if the queen's next lover isn't as good she slaps him with the penis of previous lovers

#213624 +(206)- [X]

ok this DJ has a wierd sense of humor... "Campus police is sending out a warning about a prowler around the university... And now something on my personal playlist" *plays AC/DC - Night Prowler*

#88786 +(442)- [X]

<Lenz>

Oh man...

<Lenz>

my mom just asked me to rewind the dvd for her

#102467 +(138)- [X]

<foo-busy>

besides, saying you're a vb programmer around true geeks is like saying you're gay at the mormon's men convention. seeya later

#46869 +(159)- [X]

<+DrDiamond>

I had a hot dog in Steamboat Springs Colorado at the Kum n' Go market

<+DrDiamond>

no joke

<+DrDiamond>

terrible name

<@kelea>

least it wasn't in Climax, Colorado.

<+DrDiamond>

I'll bet Climax has one

<+DrDiamond>

it's a chain

<@kelea>

lordy. A chain of Kum 'n Go sounds like my date life.

#50132 +(283)- [X]

<jan^beer>

shit, it seems like i have a problem every weekend with a different girl :)

<jan^beer>

I NEED A STABLE RELATIONSHIP!!

<jan^beer>

:)=

<+Burned>

a horse ?

#54244 +(96)- [X]

<|Robot|Pimpbot>

I SWEAR TO GOD I WISH I COULD JUST REACH THROUGH THE INTERNET AND KILL PPL SOMETIMES

<|Robot|Pimpbot>

does anyone know if that will be part of Internet v2?

<{RA}SKY-UED3>

yeah

<{RA}SKY-UED3>

but youll have to pay a tax on it

<{RA}SKY-UED3>

and stand in a line

<|Robot|Pimpbot>

im willing

#55602 +(11)- [X]

The oath of celibacy in the church only means the priest can secretly sodomize young boys instead of having open intercourse with women.

#56689 +(2285)- [X]

yay I fixed my laptops battery!

it was so dead, nothing would charge it

so I gave it the electronic equivalent of a kick in the head, by shorting the +/- terminals for 5 minutes

don't they have stickers on them that say they could explode or catch fire by doing that?

<danamania> yeah but it's ok, I took them off first.

#58790 +(-3)- [X]

when you don't even want to pay $0.00 for something you must be REALLY cheap

#62095 +(499)- [X]

what is another phrase for black and white?

#000000 and #FFFFFF

#67669 +(788)- [X]

<@Noodles>

i got my cdkey from a ebay photo of somebody selling q3

#31565 +(-6)- [X]

im gonna take that fricking printer and stick it up your asshole, and then print out gay pron on it. fricking h0m0.

#40268 +(197)- [X]

<|YoShi|>

FBI just came to my house

when they held up their fbi badge didn't u say somethng heroic

<|YoShi|>

yeah i said, hold on let me get dressed

#40815 +(612)- [X]

COUCH

<Evil_Couch>

I swear, I'm going to drown you

<Evil_Couch>

err

Scuse me?

<Evil_Couch>

I mean, hi, how are you doing?

<Evil_Couch>

you want to go swimming?

#42388 +(-3)-

i just looked at the ingredients to herbal ecstasy

ITS THE SAME THING AS MY SECRET FORMULA :(

#1462 +(389)- [X]

im a smart blond :)

YAY FOR DUMB BLONDES#@$@!$! ---- I mean....ummm --- YAY FOR SMART BLONDES *mutter* lol, no such thing

shut up

hey soon im gonna have artifical intelegance

hehe

dyed hair?

#3672 +(162)- [X]

1) he has pants listed in the arcade machine section

2) why would you buy used clothes over the internet :/

<Slant|SCC>

Let alone "techno raver DJ" pants?

<Steve-3>

9 bids so far

<Steve-3>

maybe i should start selling my old boxers on ebay

<Steve-3>

These boxers are in GREAT condition, with the exception of a spot where i let go a little early

<Slant|SCC>

But they're not any ordinary boxser.

<Slant|SCC>

They're "techno raver DJ" boxers!

#3936 +(5100)- [X]

<+kritical>

christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..

<+Christin1>

how do i do that

#22160 +(247)- [X]

<jiy>

every time i join a suicide channel on dalnet i get banned and accused of being a troll

<jiy>

today, when the fuckers were discussing cutting, i said "tell me how to cut myself"

<@skold>

you dont know how to cut yourself?

<@skold>

how the fuck can you screw that up?

<@skold>

no wonder you want to kill yourself

#39604 +(326)- [X]

I'm such a fucking retard sometimes...

I took a shit, went to wipe, but for some reason I grabbed the deodorant and smeared it all over my ass :

uggg

now I need new deodorant :(

sometimes I'm so fucking out of it

well... I guess its good that my ass smells fresh

#40564 +(113)- [X]

i love the way the chicken nuggets are all the same shape

so that you need only one instruction manual to swallow them?

#41220 +(193)- [X]

man, while I was at the beach I made this huge ass sand castle and I was about to make a major change that could have messed it up and I thought to my self, "Make a backup just in case" then I felt stupid

#44124 +(286)- [X]

<The_Sicness>

Sex is like a card game, if you don't have a good partner, then you better have a good hand.

O_o

and it's better to play with a group

than to play by yourself :D

#49846 +(415)- [X]

* Ultima falls off a cliff

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!

Wham

oooh dat hurt

lol

typing that sentance hurt?

naw itz a joke

*drum roll*

*silence*

*cymbol clash*

*gun shot*

#76337 +(103)- [X]

<Orpal>

studying, HA HA

<Killgore-studying>

trying to

<Orpal>

it's friday night, you should be out killing prostitutes

#81804 +(134)- [X]

<Moiee>

i have perfect biceps

only in one arm though

#83777 +(271)- [X]

I'm growing a beard. It's really itchy, growing a beard...

<fin>

Then shave.

But I weant a beard for I-Con.

And a real one, not a spirit-gummed-on fake one.

<fin>

Why?

Just...because I do. Because it's part of the look for a LARP character I have.

<fin>

OK. Stop there. I don't want to know anymore. Goddamn.

BECAUSE I FUCKING FEEL LIKE GROWING A BEARD, OKAY?

Shiiiit....

<fin>

Which part of "changing your appearance to fit in with a LARP character" doesn't sound stupid to you?

<Maestro|OoT>

LARP?

<Furry_Geek>

Live Action Role Playing.

<Maestro|OoT>

Oh, NO.

<fin>

OK, scratch that. Which part of "playing a LARP" doesn't sound stupid to you?

#100285 +(133)- [X]

<K8>

well the theme was aincient history

<josh_ip_te>

oh,

<josh_ip_te>

and you went as a viking?

<K8>

and my friend had some home made costumes

josh_ip_te wouldve gone as a black michael jackson

#106500 +(194)- [X]

<Nicoli_t>

Urgh... i feel like such a geek...

<Nicoli_t>

so I was in buffalo new york right, and theres this big like gothic building...

<Nicoli_t>

all these little ledges and shit...

<Nicoli_t>

So I looked at it... and said to myself "you know what... that would be a kickass sniping tower in unreal...

<Nicoli_t>

i could like, climb that with the translocater easily..."

<logical_or>

lol, geek

<Nicoli_t>

thats okay, my friend started identifying what the radio towers on top of it did, he works at radio shack.

<logical_or>

ROFL

#446429 +(667)- [X]

Jesus christ, my mom is so fucking stupid

She was complaining to me about how "all the french stereotype us"

#700868 +(475)- [X]

huh, that's odd...

what is?

the median age of the US population went down

i wonder what this means

the terrorists finally bombed Florida?

#1245 +(77)- [X]

any ideas what this error is when i try to ping a pc on my LAN: connect: Netowork is unreachable

#8023 +(-53)- [X]

<kt>

i need a job, badly.

<kt>

maybe i should hang out with some black people

<kt>

i mean go to the unemployment office.

#17996 +(207)- [X]

<cam[gt]>

is it bad if you're driving down the road and see an address on a mailbox that's 1394, and the first thing you think of is firewire?

#34433 +(82)- [X]

<Flik>

That was so awesome

<Flik>

I need a twin just so that I could do cool things like that

incest porn?

#53762 +(555)- [X]

Do you ever get the feeling that someone has mis-understood you?

but you're not sure

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, ASSHOLE?

#15910 +(577)- [X]

My band is called Imation CDR 74m 650 MB....have you seen our CD's?

#43477 +(1027)- [X]

my friend use to put his cat in a pillowcase and throw it down the stairs when we were little. the cat's name was Oscar. i use to to call him Oscar the grouch, because he was grouchy a lot of the time.

Maybe he was grouchy because you fucking threw it down the stairs in a pillowcase, genius.

#58222 +(293)- [X]

Xuberant, please, check your keyboard for stuck keys

you've clipped Retard-Lock or something

#66201 +(275)- [X]

<+SAB3>

Wow, cool site

the version that is running local is much better

<+SAB3>

Give me the url

http://localhost/alpha/news.php

<+SAB3>

Doesn't work

It works fine over here

<+SAB3>

no dude, it doesn't work ...

#536798 +(355)- [X]

I'm black from the waist down.

How do you steal a TV with your feet?

#646246 +(622)- [X]

<Javin>

God I hate people.

<Javin>

I'm trying to program here, and some chick walks in and starts gabbing over my shoulder about nonsense.

<Javin>

So I continue to work, and just ignore her. Apparently, she took this to mean I was "frowning."

<Javin>

Her: "You know, it takes 36 muscles to frown, and only 12 to smile."

<Javin>

Me: "And none at all to ignore you with utter indifference."

<Javin>

Apparently that wasn't as subtle as I thought it was. She took the hint.

#630789 +(1215)- [X]

<Ziggy>

Everytime I hear a strange noise, I have a zombie panic attack.

<Lusty>

what is it with you and zombies?!

<Ziggy>

Are you not afraid of zombies?

<Lusty>

they don't exist.

<Ziggy>

That's what they think in movies too.

<Ziggy>

Right before the invasion.

Excerpts from Bash.org Part IV

Source: Bash.org

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