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Extremely Lame Pick Up Lines

source: Dave's Daily

  • The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
  • That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
  • I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
  • I like every bone in your body especially mine.
  • How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
  • Will you be my love buffet so I can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?
  • Why don't you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?
  • Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.
  • Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.
  • Hey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me up.
  • If your left is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays.
  • If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
  • You're like a Pringles. Once I pop you, I can't stop you!
  • I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.
  • Is it hot in here or is it just you?
  • If you were a car door I would slam you all night long.
  • How about you sit on my lap and we'll straighten things out.
  • If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.
  • Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
  • Can I have fries with that shake?
  • I've got the F, the C, and the K. All I need is U.
  • You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.
  • Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?
  • If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
  • Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?
  • Do you know CPR because you take my breath away.
  • Your daddy must of been a drug dealer 'cause you're dope.
  • My face is leaving in 15 minutes...Be on it!
  • I'd look good on you.
  • When does your centerfold come out?
  • So do ya wanna see something really swell?
  • I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
  • I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.
  • Is your name Gillette? ...Because you're the best a man can get.
  • Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?
  • I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.
  • You have nice legs. What time do they open?
  • Do you like Subway? How about my foot long?
  • Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it?
  • Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd just love to tap that ass!
  • Are those pants from outer space? Cause that ass is out of this world.
  • You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
  • Is your dad a terrorist? Because you're the bomb!
  • Are you a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you.
  • If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head tonight?

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Op 21 maart 2009 is mijn boek 'De Paarse Panda' gepubliceerd. In dit boek beschrijf ik hoe het voelt om longkanker te hebben en ongeneeslijk ziek te zijn verklaard. Het boek barst van geluk, positiviteit, liefde, creativiteit, levenslust, verwondering en optimisme maar dat laatste brokkelt heel langzaam af door teleurstellingen en het moeten verleggen van grenzen.