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14 Things You Really Should Have Done Before Getting Married
source: Dave's Daily
- Watch yourself eating in front of a mirror. If you're put off, that's the view your future partner will have...
- Live on your own. It's important that you find out what a hopeless slob you are before your beloved tells you. And then leaves you...
- Go out with your friends for a "quick drink" and stagger home three days later...
- Have a holiday romance with someone who doesn't speak a word of English. Who needs conversation?
- Women: Take the soft toys off your bed. Nothing turns a man off more than performing in front of an audience of beady-eyed teddies...
- Men: Get rid of those "How to Get Girls Even Though You're Poor and Ugly" books. They never work anyway...
- Gobble the last slice of pizza without having to go through the "No you have it, no really... Are you sure you don't mind...?"
- Walk about the house naked, without having to hold any bits in...
- Have friends of the opposite sex. After marriage, it's too much effort to keep saying: "No, I really don't fancy them"...
- Men: Enjoy that wardrobe space while you can! You will not believe the vast number of shoes that one woman needs...
- Women: Fill in silly magazine quizzes with titles like "Are You Seductive", without having to listen to loud laughter from your partner (who then runs off with the magazine)...
- Men: Get rid of anything inflatable and female-shaped...
- Relish clipping your toenails straight onto the carpet...
- Remember that your best option with in-laws is to marry an orphan...