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Things actually said in court, word for word...

Q:
What is your date of birth?
A:
July fifteenth.
Q:
What year?
A:
Every year.

Q:
What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A:
Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q:
This myasthenia gravis-Does it affect your memory at all?
A:
Yes.
Q:
And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A:
I forget.
Q:
You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q:
How old is your son - the one living with you.
A:
Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q:
How long has he lived with you?
A:
Forty-five years.

Q:
And where was the location of the accident?
A:
Approximately milepost 499.
Q:
And where is milepost 499?
A:
Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Q:
Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?
A:
We both do.
Q:
Voodoo?
A:
We do.
Q:
You do?
A:
Yes, voodoo.

Q:
Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A:
Yes.
Q:
Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A:
Yes, sir.
Q:
What did she say?
A:
What disco am I at?

Q:
Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q:
Did he kill you?

Q:
How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q:
You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q:
How many times have you committed suicide?

Q:
So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A:
Yes.
Q:
And what were you doing at that time?

Q:
You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A:
Yes.
Q:
And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q:
Can you describe the individual?
A:
He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q:
Was this a male, or a female?

Q:
Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A:
No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q:
Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A:
All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q:
All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A:
Oral.

Q:
Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A:
The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q:
And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A:
No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q:
Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A:
No.
Q:
Did you check for blood pressure?
A:
No.
Q:
Did you check for breathing?
A:
No.
Q:
So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A:
No.
Q:
How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A:
Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q:
But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A:
It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.

Q:
You were not shot in the fracas?
A:
No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

LAWYER:
Did you ever sleep with him in New York?
WITNESS:
I refuse to answer that question.
LAWYER:
Did you ever sleep with him in Chicago?
WITNESS:
I refuse to answer that question.
LAWYER:
Did you ever sleep with him in Miami?
WITNESS:
No.
LAWYER:
So, after the anaesthetic, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?
WITNESS:
I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
LAWYER:
It was covered?
WITNESS:
Yes. Bandaged.
LAWYER:
Then, later on, what did you see?
WITNESS:
I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.

CLERK:
Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God..."
WITNESS:
"I swear by Almighty God."
CLERK:
"That the evidence that I give..."
WITNESS:
That's right.
CLERK:
Repeat it.
WITNESS:
"Repeat it".
CLERK:
No! Repeat what I said.
WITNESS:
What you said when?
CLERK:
"That the evidence that I give..."
WITNESS:
"That the evidence that I give."
CLERK:
"Shall be the truth and..."
WITNESS:
It will, and nothing but the truth!
CLERK:
Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."
WITNESS:
I'm not a scholar, you know.
CLERK:
We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."
WITNESS:
"Shall be the truth and."
CLERK:
Say: "Nothing...".
WITNESS:
Okay. (Witness remains silent.)
CLERK:
No! Don't say nothing. Say: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS:
Yes.
CLERK:
Can't you say: "Nothing but the truth..."?
WITNESS:
Yes.
CLERK:
Well? Do so.
WITNESS:
You're confusing me.
CLERK:
Just say: "Nothing but the truth...".
CLERK:
Yes.
WITNESS:
Okay. I understand.
CLERK:
Then say it.
WITNESS:
What?
CLERK:
"Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS:
But I do! That's just it.
CLERK:
You must say: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS:
I WILL say nothing but the truth!
CLERK:
Please, just repeat these four words: "Nothing", "But", "The", "Truth".
WITNESS:
What? You mean, like, now?
CLERK:
Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words.
WITNESS:
"Nothing. But. The. Truth."
CLERK:
Thank you.
WITNESS:
I'm just not a scholar.

LAWYER:
On the morning of July 25th, did you walk from the farmhouse down the footpath to the cow-shed?
WITNESS:
I did.
LAWYER:
And as a result, you passed within a few yards of the duck pond?
WITNESS:
I did.
LAWYER:
And did you observe anything?
WITNESS:
I did.(Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER:
Well, could you tell the Court what you saw?
WITNESS:
I saw George.
LAWYER:
You saw George *******, the defendant in this case?
WITNESS:
Yes.
LAWYER:
Can you tell the Court what George ******* was doing?
WITNESS:
Yes. (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER:
Well, would you kindly do so?
WITNESS:
He had his thing stuck into one of the ducks.
LAWYER:
His "thing"?
WITNESS:
You know... His thing. His di... I mean, his penis.
LAWYER:
You passed close by the duck pond, the light was good, you were sober, you have good eyesight, and you saw this clearly?
WITNESS:
Yes.
LAWYER:
Did you say anything to him?
WITNESS:
Of course I did!
LAWYER:
What did you say to him?
WITNESS:
"Morning, George"

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Op 21 maart 2009 is mijn boek 'De Paarse Panda' gepubliceerd. In dit boek beschrijf ik hoe het voelt om longkanker te hebben en ongeneeslijk ziek te zijn verklaard. Het boek barst van geluk, positiviteit, liefde, creativiteit, levenslust, verwondering en optimisme maar dat laatste brokkelt heel langzaam af door teleurstellingen en het moeten verleggen van grenzen.